I've been saying that every time I post here, but I really really mean it. Cass's constant refrain (or rather, her exclaimation for when life is going particularly against plan) is, "I hate everything/everyone" and I noticed (or maybe she did?) that I've adopted the same saying, and not just for the times when I stub my toe or realize the sink is full of dishes when I'm looking to make dinner. I don't want to be so down in the dumps, even if the whole sky is falling on my head at once.
Things have taken a turn recently, or are trying their hardest to, and it's been rough. I need to get back to my September mindset, the state of mind I had when I was sure I could tackle anything bigger than me and take it down, no problem. I've slid a little--I caught myself daydreaming about being rescued from this series of sticky situations by hands more capable than mine. I need to re-rig my support system, get outside of my lazy/hazy bubble, shave my head again, SOMETHING! The last thing I want to do is end up wallowing in a puddle of frustration tears. Time for some serious self-love. Gala has a few things to say about this, and I honestly cannot wait to turn the month of February into a giant parade float with streamers and confetti and banners with inspirational quotes. And a giant box of white chocolate truffles. And unlimited hugs for the next six lifetimes. Even if that only means cross my arms and squeezing the air in front of my chest. I think that kind of hug might be best right now, coupled with a shovel-full of yoga breaths and a good, hot soak.