Welcome To My Bed

Sci-fi + film noir = true love.

Last night, after getting screwed out of decent housing for the coming year, I came home and finished my research paper, capping all of my extensive yammering off with a film analysis of this amazing (and ridiculously conservative) Egyptian film called The Yacoubian Buliding, which is beautifully shot but incredibly problematic in the way that it classifies homosexuality as a vice. Anyway. After getting my work for the night squared away and figuring out a plan for where I will live come September, James and I headed out to our local art house and saw the final cut of Blade Runner on the big screen. It was my first time with the movie, which is criminal, considering my intense love for Harrison Ford, and sci-fi, and film noir, and Ridley Scott. Oh, and James also has the boxed set that was released some time around Christmas that comes with five different cuts of the movie, including a three hour work print (nerd heaven!!).


I have realized several things since seeing this movie last night, so I thought I would write a list.

1 - Rutger Hauer needs to work more.

Let's be honest. He is amazing. He improvised that "tears in the rain" bit that everyone quotes and thinks of as so brilliant. The only thing I can remember him being in recently was Batman Begins as the head of Wayne Enterprises. He needs to get more work. Roy was so intense, I can't imagine why Mr. Hauer isn't all over the place. I looked him up on imdb last night as soon as we got back, and I was so disappointed to see that most of what he's done are television bit parts.

2 - Daryl Hannah looks like a tranny.

Some people think she's gorgeous. To me, in the first scene where you see her in the film, I first thought "Wow, she has great eyes", and then immediately "Wow, she has a man's chin". Walking around dressed like a hooker didn't help things. I worried that Hugh Grant was going to pop up and proposition her. Something about her always bothered me, and I have finally put my finer on it. However, that did not prevent me from mentally noting that Priss would be a kickass Halloween costume.

3 - Technology is terrifying.

If it weren't for the computers, and the fact that the movie takes place in LA and yet everyone smokes without a problem, this film would probably be pretty acurate to how things will be 11 years from now. In general anyway. The 80's fashions (especially Harrison Ford's mixed patterns and the clothes of the women at the seedy nightclub he goes to during the second act of the film) are all over the runways now. Everyone, once again, has giant hair. Twenty-five years later and things have come full circle? Robots are becoming more and more advanced. Men like Tyrell are being elevated to god status because of the things they invent and the money they make. Let's just say I was unnerved by most of it. The only thing I won't say has come back are Rachel's shoulder pads.

4 - Blade Runner is the last of un-self-conscious film noir.

Sure we have the occasional film noir nowadays. Brick. Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. Lucky Number Slevin if you want to give it more credit than it deserves. They follow the formula and are either trying way too hard, or too tongue-in-cheek to be straight about it. I love them, but I love classic film noir more. I like the accidental awesome details of Humphrey Bogart's amazing hand-rolled cigarettes, or Jack Nicholson playing someone other than himself. Blade Runner is the last film of that kind. It knows what it is, but it's not reaching to get there. There's ceiling in almost every shot, the lighting is mostly shadow, and nothing in the world is what it seems, which makes it perfect. Harrison Ford is so pitch-perfect...it's so hard for me to fathom that he didn't get an acting nomination from anybody when this film came out. It frustrates me that they don't make movies like this anymore.

5 - I am the biggest nerd there is.

James always insisted that this movie was made for me, and that's why it didn't do well. I finally understand what he means now. I feel lucky that Amherst Cinema randomly acquired this masterpiece on 35mm so that I could see it in the glory that very few people have, sans narration, with all the violence of the international cut, as Ridely Scott always wanted it. I mean, people have seen it this way, but not on the big screen. I kind of want to go back, but we bought Iron Man tickets for tonight. I have to show my devotion for another star that rose in the 80's. My love for rough middle-aged-ish men makes me a little uncomfortable. Robert Downey Jr. is a god though. And Harrison Ford was my first love, literally. When I was seven, i told my dad I wanted to marry him after seeing an Indiana Jones movie for the first time. And I still mean it. Too bad that everything I've ever seen him in he looks like a bad kisser. But that scene, that scene where he slams Rachel up against the wall...I just got all weak in the knees. And also incredibly uncomfortable. I wish that there were movie stars like him that weren't in their sixties so I would feel less dirty pining for them.