Welcome To My Bed


I am busier than I imagined I could be. With a course load that really doesn't seem all that crazy on paper, I have reading that verily trumps anything I was doing in the fall. But there's less writing. So I guess things will always be a trade-off.

LA has fallen through for me, after all the planning and hoping and crossing of my fingers. But in a way, it's a little pressure off, which is welcome right now. Living with James right now is a condition I am incredibly grateful for. I know it won't happen again after this spring, at least not in the near future. He'll be gone for the summer, and I'll be on the coast opposite him, working and hopefully saving up for a car. There will be visit of some type at some point, because I know I can't go nearly four months without seeing him. And then there will be the fall, where things will be different again. Cassandra and I plan on living together again just like last September, without the old semi-permanence.

Poetry is something that just doesn't come to me anymore, at least not like it used to. I missed my first Slam Collective meeting all year because I felt like death and was waiting around for my roomie to get back from his day with Mr. Martin Scorsese. It's strange to think of him appearing in the same movie and Leonardo DiCaprio. Things in New Jersey are continuing on in the same way they were before I left the last time. I spent last weekend at home (thanks to too many hours on public transportation) and the only difference I noticed is that Pascack Valley Hospital closed.

I have compiled a concise but ambitious to-do list for my summer back there. It's probably just me hoping and praying for the warm weather to get here as fast as it possibly can. New England isn't all that different from where I grew up, but I never liked mountains of snow all that much in the first place. And winter just seems interminable when you're living in the middle of nowhere. I want the sun back. The temperature has been hovering around the mid-40s for a bit, but that's not enough to keep me happy right now.

I take more naps than I should lately, and the loss of time is having a really strange effect on me.