Welcome To My Bed

Evaporate and condense again somewhere cooler.

I know I have disappeared off the face of the planet, and while I'm not going to apologize because I'm really not sorry for having the capacity to enjoy real life more than virtual life right now, I will give you a little bit of an update on the goings-on in my life currently. But a short one, because there are serious things to accomplish today.

First off, work has been incredibly hit or miss, and I still don't have as many shifts as I'd like to. One day, I'll make over $100, and then others I'll make less than thirty. And my last paycheck was somehow screwed up. I'm trying not to stress about it. I really like all of the people that I work with thus far, which is a first for me - usually there's someone I cannot deal with, but I have yet to meet that person at this job. Also, because I'm standing on a deck next to the ocean every shift from ten AM until whatever ridiculous hour of the night they send me home (usually around eight or so) my face is incredibly tan and I'm not really sure what to think of it. All I know on that front is that I am happy to not have any kind of bizarre tan lines from my polo shirt. Yet. Keeping my fingers crossed that that never happens, but we can only hope about these things.

Changing directions quickly...


DC and I went to see UP the other night with his friend John who is visiting from Tennessee for the week (hear the band he plays guitar for here). I am not ashamed to say that I cried three times. It was a really fun, sweet movie, not Pixar's best, but definitely one of my favorite movies I've seen lately. Not that I've really been going to the movies much in the past few moths. Things have been too hectic to make such concrete time commitments. The following night a bunch of us went out for happy hour and then Kait invited us to meet up with her at Forbidden City on Federal Hill. None of us had ever been there, but I was excited by the prospect of walking up to a bouncer and saying "Emily + three" and getting to jump the line. Which we did, landing us in wall to wall Gotti blowouts, too-loud Lady Gaga, and some really skanky-looking go-go dancers. Kait bought me a drink and apologized for the intensity of the place (this was a Monday night, but apparently everyone there was quite alright with going to work smelling like someone else's hangover on a Tuesday), and we left soon after to head back to AS 220. I still do not know what to make of that place. An establishment with "Tea Room" in the title should not have wall-sized projection screens or even a bouncer. There should be tea. And that's it.

Yesterday I drove down to East Greenwich to have lunch with DC next store to his job and ended up hanging out with him for about three hours even though we were going to see each other at night back in Providence. We've been getting wrapped up in very serious conversations lately. Whenever I ask him what he's thinking about, he always says, "the universe", and I always tell him that it's impossible to fit the entire universe into your brain. Tonight we're going to Writer's in the Round at Tazza, a little show that DC plays with a few friends every first Wednesday of the month. He's been a little under the weather lately, so he might not end up doing it this time, but I gave him echinacea and vitamin C pills to try to fix the mystery sickness, and hopefully that will help. I'm missing the NorthBEAST regional slam to hang around downtown tonight, and it doesn't even really phase me. In another life, say about a month ago, I would have been devastated by my temporary lack of gas money, but lately I am loving Providence (and Rhode Island in general) far too much to leave.

Wrapping up, today's activity will be to assemble the chapbook/zine that I'm making especially for my feature at Blue State Coffee in a few weeks and begin the search for a copy shop of some sort to make such an endeavor possible. I'm going to make it have mostly Providence-specific poetry, which will hopefully make it sell well with the people who go to that reading. We shall see.

And I leave you with this - last night, someone sincerely called me sexy, and I actually believe him. I am a seriously changed person. I'm worried no one will recognize me when we're back at school in the fall, with how rapidly I feel myself changing.

Opera Unknown.

Someone please tell me what opera this song is from. I used to listen to it all the time when I was little and I want to find it again, but I cannot for the life of me remember what it was called.

New lover.


In my dreams of course. Yesterday I watched this documentary Kill Your Idols that was a free on demand movie from the Sundance channel, and though I've always loved and been fascinated by Gogol Bordello, I am now absolutely smitten with Eugene Hütz. The documentary was about no wave and its influence on the New York music scene since the 80's, and though I'm not sure I could regularly stomach Teenage Jesus and the Jerks, I have found a new thing I'd like to research the shit out of. Also through the documentary, I found Black Dice, which is now in heavy rotation in my iTunes. I think the cats hate me now. They keep staring over at the strange noises coming from my laptop (either Eugene yelping or bizarro feedback and electronic noises) like they'd like to murder me.

To escape their intensity, I am going to the grocery store to pick up the ingredients for falafel burgers and mock krema. Afterwards, I may or may not talk about the strange nature of graduation at my school. I am still trying to process what happened yesterday involving diplomas and Bobcat Goldthwait. And yes, you did read that correctly. Also, I think I might have a big throbbing crush on Ken Burns. He's almost too adorable in person.

Nostalgia and wallowing.

Sometimes I miss my shaved head a lot more than I should. Although I got so many compliments on what somebody decided to call my "summer hair" that I know this current length is the right one for right now. I really do feel so much more myself. I hope that feeling bleeds into other areas of my life. Also, I am pretty sure I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that late night drives on the Mass Pike are really all I need in terms of finding semi-clarity. I really needed Boston tonight, and it really pulled through for me. The Cantab is pretty consistent in its inability to disappoint me.

Spring Jam.


I spent the better part of yesterday lying in the sun and now my back is a pale shade of lobster. I jinxed myself the other day by saying that I never burned. Oh well. It was a beautiful afternoon anyway. Cass, Sophia and I lay on the library lawn all day reading and enjoying ourselves with a rotating cast of characters. I played a very half-assed game of chess. Cass and I wandered the length of the entire campus at least three times for various reasons and eventually found what we were looking for. And at the end of the day, I had eaten so much delicious junk food and also baked a pecan pie with Peter.

Today is Spring Jam. I think KRS-one is playing? School events at Hampshire baffle me slightly. We never have them, until we do, and when we do they are always bizarre and poorly planned. But Maggie will be here, and I ate yogurt with fresh strawberries for breakfast, so I will not complain for another excuse to put off all my work. Again. Well, that isn't entirely true. I totally woke up early and cleaned for at least an hour in attempt to pull together my preliminary Div 2 portfolio. But a couple hours of decompression never hurt anyone, least of all me.

P.S. Providence update - Kaitlin bought me a dresser, and I will be babysitting Grace Ann's futon for the summer. So now I have furniture. All I need to do is get all of my shit from here (point A) to the apartment (point B). I imagine the logistics will be fascinating. Having a car would be ideal, but I guess nothing ever goes exactly perfectly right.

In the (201).


Self-reflection just beyond my fingertips. Sorry for the joke, I know it's shameless.

One of my good friends told me he was in love with me last night. No one should ever tell me such things. I need to make a sign to wear around my neck that says, "Just because I enjoy your company does not make me 'the one'." I can clearly never have male friends. This is the second such weirdness of the week. On Monday night one of my other male friends said completely out of the blue, "So, I'd totally sleep with you." Nothing leading up to it, just that blunt statement. Do people actually do this in real life, or is it only happening in mine?? If it is the latter option, I am giving God or whoever the finger right now.

I read so many poems to my dad tonight. It felt unfair, but he seemed to be enjoying himself. He's going to be sending the book he's writing to me so that I can have a look. I have never read anything my father has written, but then, I don't think my father writes very much.

This weekend will most likely be slavishly dedicated to reading the five novels that I had to bring home. Not exactly how I picture weekends away from Hampshire, but I guess this is what I get for being academically insane. I would have liked to drive to Philadelphia, crash in a hotel room, hiding out and telling secrets. But the world is conspiring against me to prevent any mote of escapism. Maybe next weekend I can shirk my responsibilities effectively.

Music obsession of the week:

I didn't think leotards were sexy. Perhaps I have been proven wrong?

Making Wavves.


Current musical obsession: Wavves. I know that there's been internet buzz. I definitely read about him in Nylon this month. I definitely understand what all the fuss is about - but honestly, his music reminds me of a fuzzier version of Alec's. Cassandra and I had something of a lo-fi listening party while taking a break from watching Beauty and the Beast and agreed that to have his album on vinyl to listen to on headphones while lying on the floor in the intense heat of air-conditioner-less summer would be something close to perfection. A more sinister version of the Books, at least in a way. Hence the obsession.

At any rate, it is long past my bedtime, and I'm finding it impossible to sleep. Maybe read more articles and wonder why I've never been to San Diego before? If these are the kinds of sounds they make there, I have been missing out on something wonderful.

Very intense movie night.

Last night I watched most of The Mist in black and white, and afterwards saw The American Astronaut for the first time. I can't even begin to explain it, but I thought I would let you all decide for yourselves.

Also, I can't help but wonder if Men, Women and Children have seen this film. "A E I O U nothing" appears in one of the songs in The American Astronaut and also is the refrain for one of their songs. As is evidenced by this live performance.

And now for the original.

I smell influence?

Teen idol.


When I was 11 or 12, I thought Shirley Manson was the most bad-ass person ever, and I wanted to be the lead singer in a band and write really creepy/sexy songs. Not that I really knew what that meant, but I wanted it anyway. And I kind of still do, cos she's still really bad-ass. But the only time I was ever the lead singer in a band, it didn't last long, because the guy who asked me to be in the band was just trying to get close to me. Reason why I should start an all-girl band #593.

Super secret show.


The most clandestine of concerts occur in the back of a cab. Ryan Adams and Neal Casal perform " Sink Ships" from Cardinology while taking a drive over at Black Cab Sessions, fighting car sickness and degenerative hearing loss. Probably one of my favorite songs from the new album, just for the "coming up the rickety stairs" line. Although currently, I am listening to "Fuck the Universe" from Exile on Franklin Street, which will probably only make me more angry at the thick sheet of ice that's on top of everything on campus right now. Good thing my classes today are literally two doors down from my house.



It's near impossible not to have a throbbing crush on Ewan McGregor on a regular basis. But I think he should never be allowed to play a grungy rock star again, simply because he is too irressistible. And if you don't believe me, watch Velvet Goldmine and see yourself convinced. But finding musicians attractive is like having a cigarette habit: it arguably makes you look terribly cool, but then there are the nasty side-effects. I'd know a little about both. Anyway, Todd Haynes already made me fall in love with Bob Dylan all over again. So it's not surprising he made it happen with an "interpretation" of Iggy Pop.  And the "interpretation" of Bowie wasn't so bad either.

Space exploration.


A toast, comrades, to a new living space and a new semester in a couple days. I have a wonderful little nook to exist in, in addition to kitchen access, which is a godsend after months of struggling to find edible things in the dining hall. All around, I am quite happy with everything as it is right now. I don't want to doom myself, so I'm knocking on wood as I say this, but we'll see if it lasts. In honor of my new house and new round of classes, I have assembled a group of songs I've been listening to on repeat for the past few days to share, some of them courtesy of my onion friend in Media Services. I hope you enjoy!


Give a listen.

James stumbled upon this band when he was living in LA this summer and now we listen to them all the time. Even though they don't have a full length album. Or even a Wikipedia page. I guess that's what happens when you're signed to Myspace Records. I hope they don't get lost in the record company shuffle. We need more bad ass female vocalists. And since no band website pops up on Google, here's their Myspace.



Playlist of today's favorites, a list that includes the best mash-up I have ever heard: "Tripper Trouble", a combination of "Day Tripper" by the Beatles and "Triple Trouble" by the Beastie Boys. Give it a listen, you will not be disappointed.



One of the new favorite in heavy heavy rotation. I am heavily debating whether or not to buy it on vinyl. Although it seems a little pointless because I still don't have a record player. And my small record collection would confuse anyone trying to know me by the things I choose to physically procure. Pat Benatar, Blackmoth Super Rainbow and The Octopus Project, DJ Shadow, Jawbreaker, Traffic and some Madonna thrown in for good measure. You would think I was a hipster. I guess I just have strange taste in records. Anyway, like I said, thoroughly digging Fucked Up Friends. Definitely check it out if you like awesome noises. Or just awesome things in general.

"You're so money and you don't even know it."


This is the car I want for my future road trip to Las Vegas with Maggie. Although I'd like to think we'd gamble at a more exciting casino than the one Trent picks for their night there.

In related thoughts, I've been wondering a lot lately about subculture - Swingers is set in the mid-nineties obsession with lounge and swing. Not long before that, the Stray Cats had brought rockabilly back to the mainstream, and not long after Brian Setzer united rockabilly and swing subcultures. Sarah mentioned that she had stumbled across some rockabilly compilations, and I am dying for such a thing. If anyone can point me in the direction of the nearest greaser gang, I would appreciate it.

All this means for me is that I want pencil skirts and seamed stockings, and perhaps somebody to teach me how to pull off fire engine red lipstick.


Winter solstice.

Last night I finally got to see Maggie for the first time since I've been home, and we had such a good time, painting until nearly three o'clock in the morning and listening to the stranger stations on satellite radio. Our favorite was definitely 50's on 5. There was this ridiculous and amazing song about the Garden of Eden, and could you leave a beautiful woman there. I still hold to the belief that it was about resisting the temptation for pre-marital sex. We had a lot of laughs at the things that came on.

I got 75% done with a brand new painting last night, but I can't post it because it's a gift for someone and I'm pretty sure they read this. But I will show you after they've received it (and after it's completely done). I will, however, post a picture of a painting I'm working on for one of my sisters for Christmas. Gifts are making me kind of insane. I have to finish wrapping, then I have some drawings I want to do, and in addition to that, there are stocking stuffers I am putting together for my parents. So much to do! I never thought Christmas would be stressful, but apparently I am getting older, and things in general are just getting more worrisome. Anyway, here's that painting in progress.


Also, fashion inspiration for eternity -

Are those Yves booties? I have no idea, but they remind me of an Amy Ryan spread I saw recently. Lykke Li is too awesome.